bcarnum

Photo

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 23:32:48 -0400

fuckyeahtattoos: This little pine tree is my first and (so far)...

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 23:31:12 -0400

This little pine tree is my first and (so far) only tattoo. It was done by the very funny and friendly Terence at No Regrets in Tallahassee, Florida.

I grew up in Wisconsin and this blue spruce pine is a symbol of that.

thedailymeme: Grumpy cat’s favorite musical

Fri, 07 Dec 2012 21:16:57 -0500

thedailymeme:

Grumpy cat’s favorite musical

HOLY CANNOLI

Fri, 07 Dec 2012 21:16:26 -0500

tumblaaaa my long lost love. I haven’t been able to log in in ages, my app died but then so did my phone. I’m getting ANOTHER new phone on monday so no use downlowading the app until then, hopefully I’ll be able to get back in the swing of things because man do I miss this place.

much luuuhhh

fuckyeahtattoos: Jimi Hendrix by Woodz at Magic Cobra Tattoo...

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 14:33:31 -0400

fuckyeahtattoos:

Jimi Hendrix by Woodz at Magic Cobra Tattoo Society, Brooklyn, NY, USA

fuckyeahtattoos: Done by the wonderful and talented Missy...

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 14:29:28 -0400

fuckyeahtattoos:

Done by the wonderful and talented Missy Rhysing at Sol Tribe in Denver, CO.

A monument to permanence.

Photo

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 14:29:01 -0400

Photo

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 14:27:00 -0400

"I just want you all over me, touching me and kissing me. take me back to the happiest place..."

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 01:25:55 -0400

“I just want you all over me, touching me and kissing me. take me back to the happiest place I’ve ever been, even if just in your arms”

I wonder whose prayers God is going to hear, and answer:

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 00:55:36 -0400

My parents, that I’ll see the light and come around.
Or mine, that my parents would stop.

"Frankly, who really knows what is right and what is wrong. Man made morals do not defend love, and..."

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 00:50:57 -0400

“Frankly, who really knows what is right and what is wrong. Man made morals do not defend love, and do not defend freedom and desires of the heart.”

- I can’t keep living my life following someone else’s rules and desires. And it’s sad that THAT is such a disappointment. That my personal choices to be happy could break someone else’s heart, when it doesn’t really affect them, or hurt them, or involve them. Just… Let me be.

I just remembered our first fight.

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 23:07:17 -0400

The way I felt when I thought I was going to lose him… I don’t ever, ever want to feel that again.
That’s enough for me.

Telling my parents that I’m moving to california wasn’t very hard. The words came out of...

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 13:11:06 -0400

Telling my parents that I’m moving to california wasn’t very hard. The words came out of my mouth with ease. Maybe because I knew that they knew it’s where I want to go. I knew that they wouldn’t approve. I knew that they’re worried about me. But they’re always worried about me.
But hearing their words in response. Knowing that I’m about to do something that they don’t approve of… Despite all of the things I’ve done in my life that they wouldn’t have approved of, none of it mattered at that moment. See, I can’t just sneak away to california.
They want me to be independent until prince charming comes and sweeps me into a big beautiful house, take me to church every other day and make my life honkey dory.
I’m tired of being so fucking independent. I’ve been out of high school and on my own and running the game for almost 7 years. I’m tired.
My dad said “I know you’re miserable here. And you just want to find some happiness. And we can’t stop you from doing what you want to do.”
But arkansas would be lonely, and the same damn thing I’ve always done. Just without the friends. And frankly my friends are my happiness here.

Travis. I can’t worry about fixing him, I will never do it. He has to do that on his own. And he is. He has to if he wants me there. But what I do know is that I love him. I told him today the things that no one else will ever tell him… The truths I know, and what I need from him. That I’m going there to be with him, but I also have to do what’s right for me. whatever that is… I’ll figure it out one day. My head is in a million different directions right now.

But, as expected, my heart is so heavy.

One more wedding. 3 more weeks. And it begins.

"This is happening."

Wed, 22 Aug 2012 15:32:11 -0400

“This is happening.”

- Coming up against some big fights, naturally. But I bought the ticket… Gotta take the ride.

September 12th

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 01:34:53 -0400

Decisions have been made.
For the first time in my life, I’ve regarded myself, my life, my desires… And I’m going. I’m chasing my dreams!
I love the leaders of my life but at this time, I have only myself to consider. It IS the MOST selfish thing I’ve ever done but that’s the point.

I submitted my resignation today. I also submitted my mountain resume. And agreed on a date of departure with my landlord. I’m selling my things, giving away what I don’t need and can’t pack into my car. I’ve made financial decisions to make my life better.

Woah. Woah. This feels so right and so perfect I can hardly contain my cloud 9 heart!

This isn’t about him. This isn’t about my parents. It’s not about my boss, or my friends, or my family. It’s about what is good and right for angela.

I want to cry but for the first time in the longest time they are tears of pure joy. The only other time I have felt this way was when my sisters best friend has her first baby, and when travis and I fell in love at the same moment.

No matter where I end up, it’s somewhere new and better and it’s me putting my stupid foot in front of the other. Finally!

"I’m moving!"

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 14:46:28 -0400

“I’m moving!”

- Woah.

Understand a heart like mine

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 01:13:05 -0400

In a very weird place. Never thought that the love that was once so thick and untouchable inside of me, the love that consumed me would be… different. It’s not gone it’s just not the same.
Jess, I understand how being so hurt, and healing from it will change how you love that man. It’ll never go away completely but it will never be as pure as it once was.
He wants to make it work, again. This game, I’m not sure if it’s actually a game or if it’s real this time. Obviously a huge part of me is broken and tied in knots over him. But there’s a huge amount of faith in me that we both deserve better and are both ready to cash in the garbage. I hope, I just hope he can be himself like he once was with me. But I’m afraid.

I’ve called my landlord, and I’m waiting for him to call me back. The answer he gives me will make or break my world right now. And HE is the reason for it, 1000000%. If it wasn’t for his bullshit, I couldve been gone before ever signing a damn lease.

And so bitterness remains, tucked deep underneath my love.
Whether I go to him, or go elsewhere… I’m going. I’m done here. I’m not scared about it anymore.

I haven’t been an angel, but I’ve been nearly surviving this summer. And I’m tired. I’m so tired. I am not lost. I am just exhausted.

And then there’s brandon. The one who clings. Only because I let him, because I need him, and he needs me. I do not want to fall in love with him and I do not want him to fall in love with me. I’d be single handedly responsible for breaking another heart. And I won’t do it.
Right place. Wrong time.

Oh life. Give me a break. Give me happiness, because I’ve been working so hard to find it and it just keeps slipping through my fingers.

I digress.

Never grow old. Never grow up.

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 17:56:53 -0400

Never grow old. Never grow up.

"My stomach is one big knot."

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 17:35:35 -0400

“My stomach is one big knot.”

- Whyyyyyyyyy

"For someone I’ve seen only twice in nearly a year, there’s not a day that goes by that I..."

Sat, 04 Aug 2012 05:58:46 -0400

“For someone I’ve seen only twice in nearly a year, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish to only be next to you”

- If only